Monday, September 27, 2010

Loving the Brothers and Sisters

The New Testament, in it's emphasis on Biblical unity in the Church, instructs us to develop intimate relationships among the brothers and sisters. We are to develop relationships where we fall head over heels in brotherly love towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. There are three principles that govern how to safely and effectively achieve intimacy among members of the Body of Christ: Trust God to place into our lives those with whom we are to have relationships and trust Him to arrange them in the proper relations with us, Speak the truth in love, and flee selfish desires.


Trust God to Place People into Our Lives in the Proper Relationships.
It is written in 1 Cor 12 that God has arranged the members of the Body in the Christ in the relations that He wants them to be in. God will brings brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers in the Lord in the type of relations He wants. He will bring you in to their lives. We are to develop love relationships where we can be both blessed and a blessing.


1 Corinthians 12:13-20 KJV For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. (14) For the body is not one member, but many. (15) If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? (16) And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? (17) If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? (18) But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. (19) And if they were all one member, where were the body? (20) But now are they many members, yet but one body.


Each believer has a place in the Body of Christ. Each part needs the other parts to function properly. God has placed you exactly where He wants you. You exist not only in relation to Christ but also in relation to other members of the body.


1 Corinthians 12:22-27 KJV Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: (23) And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. (24) For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: (25) That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. (26) And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. (27) Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.


We are to deeply care for our brothers and sisters. God has placed the members so that there would be no shism in the body but the same love for one another might be distributed throughout the body. While in the flesh we have barriers to love and affection, the agape and brotherly love of Christ knows no such restriction. We are to be in love with our brothers and sisters in Christ.


It is, on a practical level, impossible for any one person to have such deep relations with every other individual believer. What the Lord does is to place into each of our lives certain individual brothers and sisters with we will become affectionately bonded with brotherly love.


Ephesians 4:31-5:2 KJV Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (5:1) Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (2) And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

John 13:34-35 KJV A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. (35) By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.


John 15:9-15 KJV As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. (10) If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. (11) These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. (12) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. (13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (14) Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. (15) Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

1 John 3:16 KJV Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.



Romans 12:9-11 KJV Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. (10) Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; (11) Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;


Galatians 5:13 KJV For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

Philippians 2:1-4 KJV If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, (2) Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. (3) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (4) Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.



1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 KJV And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you: (13) To the end he may stablish your hearts unblameable in holiness before God, even our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his saints.

1 Peter 1:22-25 KJV Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: (23) Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. (24) For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: (25) But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.


We are to deeply love our brothers and sisters in Christ that God has placed into our lives. In different places we are told to prefer one another, have kind affection toward one another, serve one another. we are instructed even to lay down our lives for one another. Brotherly is contrasted in many of these passages with fornication and selfish desires. 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 and 1 Peter 1:22-25 even connect the increase of brotherly love with attaining holiness. The increase of brotherly love leads to holiness, but the pursuit of fornication and other carnal desires can both spoil brotherly love and bring an increase of sin.




Flee Selfish desires.
We are to avoid injecting selfish ambitions into our relationships with the brothers and sisters in the family of God. We are to avoid anything that might stir up carnal desires.The introduction of carnal motivations and desires can spoil and even destroy relationships.The pursuit of brotherly lover and the pursuit of selfish, carnal ambitions are frequently contrasted. The following passages make this clear.


Ephesians 4:31-5:6 KJV Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (5:1) Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (2) And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. (3) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (4) Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. (5) For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (6) Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Colossians 3:5-16 KJV Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: (6) For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: (7) In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. (8) But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. (9) Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; (10) And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: (11) Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. (12) Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; (13) Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (14) And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (15) And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. (16) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Philippians 2:1-4 KJV If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, (2) Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. (3) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. (4) Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Galatians 5:14-26 KJV For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (15) But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. (16) This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. (17) For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. (18) But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. (19) Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (20) Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, (21) Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, (23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (24) And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (25) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (26) Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.


We are to avoid injecting selfish ambitions into our relations with the brothers and sisters in the family of God. We are instructed to avoid lies and deceptive schemes and games. We are to avoid jealousy, greed and all kinds of selfish strifes described in the passages above. Selfish ambition and strife can even occur in the ministry. People fight over position in the church, Christian business and ministry.People have fits of anger and fear because they seek to get as much of their private kingdom as they can. Christian fight over power position and priviledge. They fight over money and wealth. They burn in lust towards sisters and brothers.


Christians fighting over power, position and priviledge goes back to the disciples. The mother of Zebedee's sons, James and John(Matt 4:21), sought to insure that her sons would be the greatest in kingdom of God. This was Jesus reply


Matthew 20:20-28 KJV Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons, worshipping him, and desiring a certain thing of him. (21) And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom. (22) But Jesus answered and said, Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with? They say unto him, We are able. (23) And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father. (24) And when the ten heard it, they were moved with indignation against the two brethren. (25) But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. (26) But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; (27) And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: (28) Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Those of the brothers and sisters who desire leadership must be prepared to serve other brothers and sisters. It is wrong if we seek leadership in order to dominate others and get some advantage. We should serve others.


We must not let love of money destroy brotherly love either. As brothers and sisters come together in the church or in business dealings there must no hint of cutthroat business practices or hardball games. These kinds of thing can wreak havoc not only in business but can spoil the life of the Church. We are warned in Scriptures not to harbor a love of money.


1 Timothy 6:3-11 KJV If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; (4) He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, (5) Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. (6) But godliness with contentment is great gain. (7) For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. (8) And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. (9) But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. (10) For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. (11) But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

James 4:1-7 KJV From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? (2) Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. (3) Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. (4) Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. (5) Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? (6) But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

The love of money can drown not only the greedy but the victims of the greedy in hurtful lusts. Greed motivates people to steal, defraud and kill. The greedy will often set other up for a fall, hoping to profit from the catastrophe. We must resist the devil when he tempts us to be greedy and selfish and and humble ourselves before God. God gives grace to the humble.


Must must resist the temptation to allow selfish desires to motivate us in our relations with the brothers and sisters, whether those desires be desires be for power, or desires for money and thethings money buys, or desires to have a brother or sister in sexual lust. We must especially be careful in dealing in sexual matters in relationships with members of the opposite sex in the family of God.


The brothers must avoid telling the dirty jokes (foolish jesting), the footsies, and various episodes of flirtation that are common in the world. Christian men, when you do these things to your sister in Christ you are tempting her, stirring up her flesh. These things can endanger her chastity and sexual purity. Even a woman of extraordinary virtue can fall under sufficient temptation. If a brother is truly in brotherly love with a sister in Christ he will not subject her to such risk. He will instead choose to protect her chastity. He will save these carnal things for marriage.


Ephesians 4:31-5:6 KJV Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (5:1) Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; (2) And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. (3) But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; (4) Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. (5) For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. (6) Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.


The sisters must avoid dressing in a sexually provocative way or flirt with men. Christian women, when you do these things to your brother in Christ you are inflaming his lust and endangering his sexual purity. Even the strongest man can fall under sufficient temptation. If a sister is in love with her brother in Christ then she will protect his purity. She will reserve those carnal things for marriage.


1 Timothy 2:9-10 KJV In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; (10) But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

Proverbs 31:29-31 KJV Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. (30) Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. (31) Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


The introduction of carnal things into relations between brothers and sisters can lead to disastrous consequences. It can break the bond of brotherly love and morph into an ugly selfish thing. Instead of loving each other carnal people are obsessed with '...getting their needs met...' Those controlled with selfishness ambition will hurt, use, and abuse others to get what self wants. True brotherly love seeks the good of the other, sometimes even at your expense.

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